Which identity?
Personal identity?
National identity?
Religious identity?
Political identity?
All ruses, to cover our real identity?
which is to say, we have no identity. No real identity.
All these identities are created by us, to provide us with cover, to hide away our actual nothingness.
If I truly believe that, then why was it so hard for me to give up my Pakistani nationality?
Well, it was more anger at the concept of nationality, first of all. The fact that I have to "renounce" it, to take up another not real identity. Just the fact that we are stuck in these papers and writings to describe who we are... to limit and mark us.
With the green passport, they looked at me with fear, like I was a criminal, and let me pass. With the red, they roll their eyes at my brown skin and let me pass. I dunno what's better lol. Thankfully, I didn't care either way. It's basically an opportunity to observe human nature, as everything is for me.
Secondly, it was because of my attachment to Pakistan as a place, as a home, to its ordinary people who are kind and good, and too all the great and not so great times I had as it shaped me up. By renouncing nationality, it seemed like they were asking me to forget that part of my life. But they weren't. I made the final decision. And it was just the guilt in me, somehow, which thought I was doing it. Like I was getting rid of something which helped me get something better. I was paying too much attention to the paper, and to the bullshit talking of friends and people. Somehow, I always let the opinions of other's affect me, even when I know it makes no sense for my mental peace.